Clowns

It's during the darkest times in your life
When you discover who cares enough to shine a light
And the brightest light in the laughter
Can burn out in the night
When elephants shift their weight
And use their tusks to dig graves
When monkeys swing the high wire
And snap the cable with their fangs
Watch the crowd scatter
The crowd that threw confetti upon your floor
If you can't offer amusement
They demand a refund at the door
Clowns that once gathered around you
With a love so ecstatic
Reveal their true nature
That of betrayal, cowardice and plastic
Unicorns turn to stallions
And allies turn to dust
Memories of promises are all that remain
Gold morphing into rust
Dance on to the next big top
You jesters with your rouge
When the stallions breath upon you
Don't let my absence leave you confused
Remember me beside a casket
And how your presence was not there
Clowns decorating clowns
That is the job that evoked your care
An eye for an eye I am given
And an eye for an eye I will take
When it is you who must throw down roses
It is I who will hold the bouquet

Sympathy Pains

I can feel your pain
Multiplied times my own
But isn't that what love does
It makes tears impossible to hold
Witches circle our last sparks of fire
Sink their yellowed teeth into our ribs
Until their molten, bloodied saliva
Is the only fluid we are given to live
The devil's arthritic hands
Tied the noose that broke our streak
The lineage of smiles and laughter
Is splintered, forced and weak
Every grin becomes a betrayal
Every good day a stride away
From a memory you don't want to lose
Like a rainbow fading to grey
You struggle to remember a voice
You only hear it in your dreams
The brush of whiskers on your cheek
Just smoke that billows out of reach
The rise and fall of sweet breath
From his side of the bed
The imprint on his pillow
From the pressure of his pompadoured head
I will sit me down beside your stone
So your presence will never part
If I can't hear you singing
I will listen to the stillness of your heart
Invite you to haunt my existence
And I will never have to say goodbye
I will break beneath your weight
Just to feel you one last time

The Forbidden Prayer

Jesus, if you were lying
About that home beyond the stars
I will find you in the darkness
And I will tear your crown apart
Shred it with my rotting teeth
Like a cougar on the prowl
And all the lies that you have spewed
Will lie in tatters on a cloud
If there is no light at the end of this life
If tattooed arms don't welcome me home
I will spend eternity in a journey to find you
And rest my hate upon your bones

500 Miles Of Wilderness

Lost in 500 miles of wilderness
With no skill to survive
A bottle of whiskey, a box of cigars
And a song to help you say goodbye
The wolves that howled in the distance
The monkeys hovering in the treetops
Pelting you with your demons
Even God refused to make them stop
One last drink to the laughter
One last sip for the memories
By the time the ice hit your lips
There were hyenas gnawing at your knees
You draped yourself in a white flag
And surrendered to the black
Walked down creaky stairs
And exposed your jugular to their attack
500 miles of wilderness
And a sun that never dawns
A prayer for Jesus to meet you
That the dogs won't follow you home

Trampled By Trains

Mama's looking for the light
Somewhere down the line
She's thinks it will come in prayer
She thinks it will come in time
It will just break out of the shadows
From behind the vision of your ghost
But the only light she will ever see
Is a train's approaching glow
The foot is off the brake
The engineer is comatose
The only relief we will ever feel
Is in the last breath before we go
And with every breath that passes
I'm thankful the clock ticks on
The trains will cease their thunder
And the day will cease it's dawn
One breath closer
So I guess I can't complain
But until that breath is over
It's all just trampled by trains

The Yoke

We wear this burden
It splinters the nape of our children
Imprints of rusted bolts
On their flesh pure as porcelain
We march down the avenues
Our hands soft upon their backs
We pray they ask no questions
Or give us a generation to react
Time enough to build courage
And the invention of kinder words
If we must obliterate hearts
Give us silence while we work
Tiny shoulders bruised
By the weight their father gave
We have to withstand the darkness
Only to witness their sparkle fade
All those little giggles
And that squeak in their voice
Perhaps Jesus is endeared enough
To grant them resilience to maintain his joy
Maybe he watches them from a cloud
And taps his finger to the beat
Of the power in their hearts
And the patter of their cherubic feet
Maybe he swoons to their grace
Maybe he laughs at their spunk
Maybe he smiles at their mild nature
And on their sugary breath he gets drunk
Should this all be true
Should God have any mercy left
Lift the yoke off of the children
And wrap the ghosts around my neck

Goliath Falling

I live with Goliath
He permeates the air
He stumbles down the hallway
And he sits in his chair
His sword hangs in a frame
High above his bed
His arrows sit in the closet
Laced with the feathers of Wrens
We gather 'round them at night
Drawn by the scent of his cologne
It wafts through the air
With the strength of dinosaur bones
He used to run down demons
With the bass in his voice
They would scatter like moonbeams
When the sun breaks on the rivers of Hanoi
But now he only mumbles
His words never make sense
The demons that once raced from him
Mock his feebleness instead
He wrestles imagined bears
And hides from imagined snakes
His mind is ruled by dementia
His body has turned to clay
He offers me a quivering hand
When his balance takes its leave
Goliath falling to the Earth
Goliath on his knees

Vices > Darkness

Darkness, stay away
Go back from where you came
If the needle gave the relief
I'd siphon you from my veins
I would drown you in opium
Black tar thick as blood
Running down my forearm

Darkness, watch your tone
Don't amplify your deafening sound
If powder could silence you
I 'd snort it by the pound
I'd bathe myself in caine
Snow white as angel wings
Dripping down my throat

Darkness, hold your hand
Don't place it near my temple
If alcohol could paralyze you
I would drink until my liver trembled
I would scorch my insides
With the fire in my glass
Thick upon my breath

And Then There's You

What good is a friends hand
If it recoils from need
What comfort is a touch
If it doesn't clot the bleed
What remains of laughter
When the sobbing takes its place
How empty are memories
When there are none left to make

What good is a confidant
If an ear is not lent
What comfort is a shoulder
If its strength has been spent
What remains of a bond
When it holds on by a thread
How empty is an ally
When its loyalty has fled

I Will Rise A Legend

I am made of ashes
From a promise laid to waste
They gave me the keys to security
Then with locks of destitute they were replaced
Searching for quarters in an empty jar
To buy a little relief
A beggar in my own home
What are these spoils that I have reaped
But I will rise a legend
Made of silver with golden trim
They will talk of our acquaintance
Their memories will echo like a Galilean hymn
That they discarded my presence
They will conveniently forget
For when I rise a legend
It is their abandonment I will eclipse

I am made of ashes
From the wool of the black sheep
From a people so bound to ignorance
And the dullness where they find conceit
Memories of saliva in a young girls hair
And a confidence never regained
Words they used so recklessly
Left the piercing echo of shame
But I will rise a legend
And they will never escape my tone
The monsters who once raped me
Will leave penance at my throne
All my people will gather 'round
And sing lullabies to a withered child
For when I rise a legend
I will hold her hand as we return from exile

I am made of ashes
From a brother laid to rest
I have crumbled underneath his weight
In these desolate months that have passed
My mind spins with his absence
And the serenity he could not obtain
The joy he could not bottle
The reflection that bitterly waned
But I will rise a legend
To feel his approval in my heart
To make him boast to the angels
That his sister emerged from the dark
He will smile over my shoulder
As I weave these words of pain
For when I rise a legend
He will taste pride as sweet as sugar cane

Owls

Bruised clouds haunt us now
They thunder through our veins
The snares splice us open
Our blood has turned to rain
We try to stay together
These gypsies we've become
But trekking through the ruthlessness
We disappear one by one
Voices slowly trail off
Into the rabbit hole
Every bridge we come across
Is being dismantled by trolls
The trees only offer fruit
Laced with cyanide
And the ache of your memory
Is all that reminds us we're alive
The owls offer no wisdom
They hiss and gnash their teeth
They carve epitaphs into our flesh
At night, when we're asleep
Horseflies swarm around them
Lured by the stench in their jaw
Damn these sadistic beacons
That deny home and forbid Oz
They pepper the sky above us
Like the geese in the Fall
Yellowed eyes with molting wings
Circle like starving vultures now

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They finally ran me out of town
All these piranhas in the streets
Since the first day on the school bus
They've been nipping at my feet
Drawing blood with their words
Leaving scars with their stares
I can't be somebody else
And I can't fit in here

The children spit upon me
And the parents turned their heads
What could the loss of her mean
She doesn't match our steps
They made me dance with demons
That's why I sing this way
You might want me gone
But Franklin, I don't want to stay

Keep your houses on the hill
Keep your winning football team
With every day that passes
I lose respect for this scene
All you pretty people
And all your stagnant ways
Like the darkness to the sunset
You chase all the color away

I'll pack my bags quietly
And drive towards the East
Bruised from all your visions
Of what I'm supposed to be
What is it you fear so much
What don't you understand
You'd rather clip a rare bird's wings
Than to see it fly from your hands

Angels Too Late

Angels too late
Angels too slow
They hang their heads in shame
As they rest upon a stone
Tears make the grass grow
In McPherson cemetery
From the angels too mild
Too silence all the demons carried
He pined for their gusto
He pined for their lust
While sipping a glass of whiskey
He waited for their touch
Soft upon his shoulder
Or brushed against his cheek
Pick up your sword and fight
If you refuse to speak
But down in the hollow
The angels didn't rage
Their wings departed woundless
Their energy unscathed

Apathy is more than human
It's a celestial plague
A grimace pierces the brow
Of the angels too late

Beasts Breathe Beside Me

A bruising omen beckons
The leaves have fallen from the trees
The colors seep into the soil
That is blanketed with the carcasses of bees
Sculptures made of petrified earwigs
Thoraxes hung by fishing line
Send the children to higher ground
The air smells of turpentine
All the angels are occupied
With tasks easier to complete
It seems we are too much for them
So we hold the hands of beasts
Cradling our faith in a blanket
Made of quills and burlap patch
We nestle on beds of pine cones
We drink water from a moldy tap
Ominous fortunes call to us
With the breaking of every dawn
Someone call the cavalry
There are skeletons dancing on our lawns
Chloroform fills our lungs
Since the day you said goodbye
Nothing good can come of this
There are Pterodactyls in the sky

Watching Brilliance Burn

Now I drown in cigarettes and rum
Instead of drowning in your love
All the mountains you have chiseled
Have crumbled into dust
Specks of memories with glints of brilliance
Slide along my thumb
Drifting along my flesh
Into the void that I've become

Brilliance once so beautiful
Brilliance once so strong
Wrapped up in a smile, a laugh
A glance, a sigh, a nod
Who of us would have guessed
That your brilliance had veered off
Did the sparks that set our hearts aflame
Cause the fire that left you gone

No Jester

I touched a nerve
With the tip of my tongue
Shivered your bones
With the twitch of my thumb
I'm not a god
But I'm no jester
I may stand in your court
But I don't dance for your laughter

Keep your books
Upon their shelves
Their binding is worn
But the lesson has rebelled
It must be so hard
To find color in your life
When you block out the sun
Because it stings your eyes

Sparklers In The Kerosene

Boy, if we could play
One more night away
I'd be red as Annie
Just like Christmas day
Like a pumpkin in the hay
Show these blues some anarchy
Just a hummingbird in flight
Dropping memories like dynamite
Smooth as the mists of Scotland

Ain't that what we did
The neighbors went and hid
When we started the engines
And if they only knew
What your love could do
They'd be lonely too now
But I'll laugh to your song
Pretend you're singing along
Corn cob pipe and overalls

Shooting holes into the sky
With that twinkle in your eye
Like sparklers in the kerosene

"Mama," She Cried

"Mama," she cried
When we told her the news
Over and over
"Mama," she cried
Wailing for comfort
From the hollows of her soul
If she couldn't bring him back
It was Mama she wanted to hold

"Just wait, just wait"
Her hands flailed
Life became too fast
Gasping in truth
Labored breathing
From fate's ruthless blow
I looked at her face
And suddenly she was old

With one phrase
The years had piled on
Her cheeks went gaunt
Her flesh went grey
Confusion and terror
Despair and dread
Chiseled on her face
When Sister woke her from bed

Dressed in a nightgown
Glasses left behind
She passed in '69
But "Mama" she cried

Damn You August

You came in gently
Graceful as the dawn
You left with gnashing teeth
But you didn't leave alone
Flowers that once bloomed
In your peaceful heather
Laid on a casket
On the second of September
Damn you August
And what you gave
The time that follows behind you
Feels this bitterness the same
You splintered its promise
All these years left to come
What can they offer now
But the scent of napalm

Ink

Ink stained fingers
And an ache in my head
This is what you left me
This is what I have
My mind doesn't wander
Your echo won't quit
I'll binge on your memory
Then purge till I forget
Forget all these poems
And silly little rhymes
Forget this tattoo
That reminds me of the time

You called me up
Your excitement danced through my ears
You were headed to the shop
And you hoped I would be there
To share with you a moment
To bond in our excess
Three children's names engraved
Into their Daddy's proud flesh
And I can see you sitting
In that chair all alone
Raising your head when the door opened
Waiting for the ringing of your phone
Surely little sister
Must be on her way
But I never was
And I never came

And now the words bleed
From a tear stained page
Regret will be my master
And I will be it's slave
And whenever I arrive
I'll see you in that chair
You'll look at me and smile
Brother, I am here

Let Us Rebel

"Let us rebel"
Your eyes said to mine
How could I deny that gleam
That twinkle, that shine
I knew Mother would not be proud
But if Mother doesn't know
She can't be let down

Whiskey and absinthe
Cigarettes and rum
You pressed on the accelerator
And it was gods that we'd become
With you at the wheel
We dodged the devil
Down old gravel roads
In fear and freedom we reveled

Pantera screaming
Out of every speaker
If pleasure were a woman
You would never leave her
Tempting fate with every mile
Making angels earn their keep
You gave a Cheshire grin
And waded into a memory waist deep

Crammed into a car seat
And giving life hell
I'd do it again
Let us rebel

I Am A Sparrow

I am a sparrow
I fly through the clouds
I whisper apologies
When I perch beside your house
I look through the glass
And see the wrinkles round your eyes
I watch as you lay sleeping
And I sing you lullabies
I swoop down to greet you
So you might know I'm here
I ride on embers of sunshine
And the moonbeams in the air
My smile is now a song
With notes that have never met your ears
My love is now graceful
And every morning I appear
I soar down from Heaven
Through the early morning light
Reflections of gold
Guide my daily flight
Do not think you are alone
Do not think I am gone
I am a sparrow
I'll meet you here at dawn

Mourning Rain

Clouds were in the distance
Invisible to the eye
Celebrating everyday
Like a firecracker in the night
Finally the dark had it's fill
And the beams of light had came
Then the clouds hovered above
Drops of mourning rain

Don't try to make me smile
Don't try to make me laugh
Advice doesn't adhere
When life makes it's collapse
There is only one smile bright enough
Only one song's refrain
That can heal my ache and dry my bones
Wet with mourning rain

I can hear God sigh
When he saw you at his door
"Too soon", he spoke to Jesus
Then his tears hit the floor
Soaking through the clouds
And drenching us in pain
Falling like bombs from the sky
Mourning rain

Your Immortal Harmony

Every time I sing
Your voice will harmonize with mine
Your song will never pause
Your melody will never die
Immortal through my smile
And every laugh left in these miles
The world will feel your breath
Through all the days that I collect

And I'll never forget you were here
Making precious, all those years
A glow that never fades
You left us with a sweet serenade
From deep within my soul
I pass you on to all I know
I'll never be alone
You are the marrow in my bones

Rest softly upon a cloud
For you resonate within eternity
Through every word spoken
Your immortal harmony

McPherson Cemetery

McPherson cemetery
Just off the county road
What lies beneath your earth
The sky will never know
You don't tell no secrets
But you don't tell no lies
The sky asks you where joy went
And you give the perfect alibi

Your beautiful on the outside
But cold on the bone
Give my brother back to us
Send my brother home
Fold up the chair
That sits near his throne
McPherson Cemetery
Let my brother go

Widow Song

They laid his head on silk
And gave back the ring
Clothed from the closet
Where the wedding dress still hangs
Deep in September this church
Gave me your simple name
Now on the second day
It's hearse drives you away

Where my Father gave me away
Is where your body rests
Where we stood together in ecstasy
Is now where your brother does his best
To deliver your eulogy with strength
But there's a quiver in his chin
I sit, dressed in black
And submerge in our memories again

The aisle we walked down together
Your hand entwined in mine
We tread it once more
Seperated by pine
My hand will carry you out
From where our love led us in
And in the choir behind me
The Widow Song begins

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I would put my head below water
Surrender to the tide
Take the devils hand
And inject his serum high
Give away this kingdom
And fade like the night
Rest my head on ghosts
Quench death's appetite

And I would go back into the darkness
To bring you back home from the light
Pick up my sword and dedicate
To a fated, useless fight
Bring the sword
Down on my own throat
If only you not go
Dress myself in armor
To see you come back home

The Downpour Came

What are we gonna do now?
Now that the downpour came
Rain when the sky is grey
And rain on sunny days
Thunder when the clouds are silent
And lightning when the static fades
What are we gonna do now?
Now that the downpour came
Drops the size of Heaven
That burn the flesh like Hell
The slow ride to a cemetery
And the truth is hard to tell
Dampness seeps through our eyes
And the storm never stops
What are we gonna do now?
Now that grief is all we've got

Black Horses

Boy, you hit us hard
With sounds we had heard before
The ringing of a phone
The knocking of a door
The gentle voice of a daughter
In her mother's ear
Who knew those tones of monotony
Would ride on black horses through the air
The horses trampled our souls
And like the leaves we drift away
Clinging to fragrant memories
That lose their scent everyday
All the pictures we've scattered
On kitchen tables and creaky floors
Once earned a simple smile
Now they deserve so much more
All the tears the steeds carried
And left upon our laps
Our clothes are wet and heavy
Each thought, a silent collapse
And now the horses have gone on
But their cloud of dust still remains
Forever stinging our eyes
This world will never look the same
The stealthy beasts of death
Left their mark at our door
Will we ever venture past it
Or is it in Hell where we are cursed to mourn