Sunday, August 30, 2009

The Girl Who Cried Blood

No wounds, no scars
No razors, no knives
Flesh taut and amber
Blessed or possessed
Gods or demons
As mystery injects it's semen

No pain, no screams
No writhing, no agony
Stigmata of the eyes
Divinity or evil
Far over the Atlantic
Your fear and curiosity become perversely romantic

Saturday, August 29, 2009

You Are Safe

Don't you think I write for you
I take inspiration from anywhere I can
Don't you think my pen
Spells out your name with rhymes you can't understand
I have sewn lines
That I balance on without effort
I have hardened my heart
My indifference to love should make you feel better
Do not raise your head
When you come to speak to me
Conceit is an ugly companion
It will only cause my benign love for you to flee
Do not be afraid
Of the webs of words that I weave
I don't write to you
I don't pine for you
I swear you are safe
And that's all your ignorance should need

August Nights

I'm alone
Fumbling through the silence without you
I'm in pain
When I've got nothing better to do
Wanna play your games
Though I know I'll always lose
Occupy your space
Entangle my smoke with your perfume
Touch your skin
And steal some of your light
Drown my soul
In the brightness you bring into the night
Wanna hear your voice
Singing through the channels of my ears
I'm not in your eyes
And I love how I look in your mirror

Thursday, August 27, 2009

8 Miles South of Kennan

Born 300 miles south
They could of put some money down
On a home that would keep them warm
Dress her in silk, not a flannel nightgown
But up in the northwoods
There's not much picking
The waters always cold
And the outhouse paint is chipping
His hands are calloused
His cuts cracked open
His fingers are yellowed
From the Prince Albert's he's been smoking
His name is stenciled
On the milk truck he's been driving
And he prays that the life he leads
Isn't his only way of surviving
She raises eight kids
The cancers growing
She slaves in the fields all day
These aren't the dreams she spent a childhood sowing
She went to school to teach
A one room schoolhouse and a cotton dress
But now her gingham is dusty and torn
There's no dreams left to impress

Poor and beautiful
I hope that you still know
I did the best I could
I wasn't the perfect man
But I'd love you anyway I can
I hope you know it's true
I hope you know it's true

She milks the cows today
Her stockings falling
The soles of her shoes are worn
And her tears, they just keep dropping
He left before the dawn
The kids still sleeping sound
And he'll come home tonight
With the moonlight shining on the ground
She keeps getting sicker
But she keeps fighting
She can't slow down for death
Cause the cradle is still rocking
But the day, it finally comes
When even gods succumb
And she leaves the farm for good
She leaves the farm for good


The pines are blowing
The roof is leaking
The snow is coming down tonight
And he can't help but sit there drinking
His coffee from a tan mug
Peppermints and a splash of bourbon
She's been gone since June
Sent away in a brand new dress of gingham


Poor and beautiful
I hope that you still know
I did the best I could
I wasn't the perfect man
But I'd love you anyway I can
I hope you know it's true
I hope you know it's true

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Against God

I am hungry
No, I will not die
I am thirsty
Against God I will survive
Making my way through the thorns
Clothes made of patch and stitch
Making my way through the brambles
Though I bleed I will not submit

They sent me down the narrow road
Balancing on the wire
Don't you hear my screams
Of agony, greed and desire

The poor have taken one more in
Into their damp domicile
The sails are raised
But the wind is still
I'll break out the paddles

Show you the slivers in my fingertips
And row towards the tower
The bills aren't paid
The food isn't made
The cupboards dry and empty
Popcorn and warm milk for dinner
While the rich revel in their plenty

Heart tied to a cinder block
At the bottom of the ocean
Luck is officially gone
She knows no devotion

I am hungry
No, I will not die
I am thirsty
Against God I will survive

The Poet

Basking in his pain
Basking in his joy
Pen to paper all day long
Screaming from the marrow of his bones
Plucking strings of copper
That leave callouses hard and cold
Eyes of piercing blue
And a velvet covered soul

A disciple of discipline
He blisters in patience
Flailing at indifference
With words wrapped in gold
Nothing you could ever mouth
About your trials or triumphs
Could paint the picture better
Than the brushstrokes he inspires

Living in the trenches
Of what life torrentially brings
Ordained by ordeal
God placed a finger on his chestnut crown
And christened him The Poet

Monday, August 24, 2009

The Branches Go Down

Living life so sweetly
Living life so plain
Living life so innocently
But that has all gone away

Pain became too piercing
Misery settled in bones
Cancer flowed through the soul
And they say love will lead you home

Bows will break and babies will fall
Forever then once again
All the kings horses and all the kings men
Couldn't put you back together again

The crackle of leaves beneath your weight
In the crisp October air
Tippy toes scraping the ground
When the branches go down

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Scarecrow

Sound the warning bell
It's about to unleash
Hell
Wrap yourself tight
In the arms of your mother
Cover
Pray to a god
You have never touched
Trust

Blind the windows
Lock the doors
It will ravage you to your core
Make no sound
Breathe so shallow
You'll need your strength for tomorrow

Sound the warning bell
The time has come
Lay down your feet
Run
Say your peace
To the world you know
It's time to go
Scarecrow

The Inevitable Me

Do you see my reflection
In the corner of your eye
I am no longer with you
But I still wander through your mind

I am still within you
I live in your exhale

The purest example of all you've surrendered
The captor of all you are
I will not set you free
The thoughts you perceive
The inevitable me

Patsy Cline

Don't you tease me no more with your give and take
Don't you push with your eyes and pull with your tongue of lace
You make me think it's in my mind then send voltage down my spine
I think it's time you wrap me in your arms and sing me Patsy Cline

You reach out to touch me but pull back before you land
Let your mind follow the passion that pulses through your hand
We could make everyday July 4th and every night Christmas Eve
All you have to do is sing to me like Robert Earl Keen

I can sing ecstatic and I can sing to trouble your soul
Lay me down softly and lay me down low
You could lay me down and traipse across the line
Close your eyes gently and sing me Patsy Cline

Dreams of an Insomniac

I wish I could sing like the vultures
That soar above my bed
Circle around my ceiling
And quench my thirst on death

And I wish I could talk
Like the voices that live inside my head
That tell me I'm a god
Then gently snap my neck

The Eyes of Dead Love

You can take yourself
And throw you away from me
You can take your vows
And rape them till they bleed

The love that you once promised me
Is cold and dead and gone
Nobody will ever know my betrayal
The shame you left is far too strong

The nights of easy laughter
That danced in a cold of smoke
Have all been extinguished by the lies
You spat from your Judas throat

The embrace you replaced with a quarantine
Your smile for a corpses stare
The eyes that once sought me in the largest crowd
Wouldn't acknowledge me if I was everywhere

You Filthy Goddess

Can you hear my whisper
From across the county line
The cadence of my tone
Should lick your lobes at night
Nothing you have ever reaped
Will pierce you quite as deep
As the echo of your leaving
And the shadow of your deceit
Can you hear my whisper
From across the county line

YOU FILTHY GODDESS

Do you remember the summer
Of two thousand and four
Ambivalence, hypocrisy
Homophobia by a whore
Lies and cold shoulders
You dispensed like birth right
But the royalty runs through the veins
You punctured with your knife
Can you hear my whisper
From across the county line

YOU FILTHY GODDESS

I am creating a space for you
I am etching your stone

YOU FILTHY GODDESS

I have saved a corner of my mind
For the memory of your demise

YOU FILTHY GODDESS

I hope one of your three
Carries the seed that's buried in me

YOU FILTHY GODDESS

Can you hear my whisper
From across the county line

YOU FILTHY GODDESS
YOU FILTHY GODDESS
YOU FILTHY GODDESS

A Moonlit Prayer

Sweet Sun, drench me in your rays
For I am cold and shivering, of the blood that runs in my veins
Sweet mother, hold me oh so softly
For I have lost the touch and love that once belonged to me
Sweet father, rage against my pain
It is me who has lost the strength that cannot be regained
Sweet sister, whisper to me loudly
The words that keep me fighting and cancel out the chance of dying
Sweet brother, stop my wrist from bleeding
For I can't stop this knife from touching the flesh that it is kneading
Sweet spirit, return to me again
I have lost you in the trenches and fear I've no return to depend
Sweet future, show me what's in store
For it's you who is honestly, the only thing I look for
And sweet Jesus, won't you come to me and wipe away my tears
That drown me in my ocean, my ocean of 17 years

Mamma...It Ain't Strange

Clipping your own wings
To teach your children to fly
I sit back in my lawn chair
And watch feathers fall from the sky
Mamma asks me what I'm doing and I just sigh
Tell her I'm watching dreams drift down and die

Mamma doesn't understand
How I can just sit all day
But that's OK
I tell her it ain't strange

I've been laid off by men made of gold
They promised me a future
Then led me down a dead end road
Mamma asks me everyday
"Honey, what are you gonna do with your life?"
I say, "Ma, it's like I said
You can't be a dreamer if you get your ass out of bed"

Mamma just doesn't understand
How I can sleep the day away
But I tell her it's OK
Mamma, it ain't strange

Take some of what I'm saying
And pass it down the line
You only touch the moon
When you have stars in your eyes

Take some of what I'm passing
And breathe it in deep
You might be able to touch the sky
When they knock you off your feet

Mamma doesn't understand
How I can just dream all day
But thats OK
Mamma, it ain't strange

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

The Tongue of Judas

The tongue of Judas snaps at you
You never thought it would come
When a god lays down his throne
And turns his back on the glittering sun

Fingers waving rings of gold
Damn you where you sit
If this is what an idol leaves you
We ain't left with shit

His image now gray and dusty
His hands now calloused and thick
Nobody gets it all
But he's never been one to quit

Flashbulbs follow everywhere
Helicopters hover overhead
He defends his position so gallantly
After we're trampled beneath his tread

As his world is charging after him
A hero claims no conceit
The tongue of Judas is eager
When wrestling with deceit

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Hey Ronda

Hey Ronda
I'm gonna make a fool out of you

I'm going to make the world hate your name
By the time I lay down my pen
You'll wish your daddy never came

Going to pluck you from your tower
Into the gallows of town square
Strung tight in the noose of revenge
30 pieces of silver will get you nowhere

I'm going to take your plastic allegiance
And burn it to the root
So even your children will wonder
If your love will see them through

I'm going to make you bleed
Cause I was stabbed in the back
While crawling on my knees

Hey Ronda
I'm gonna make a fool out of you

Letter To A Ghost

Why do you come here
Since I was a child you've haunted me
You woke me from my sleep
I found you crawling beside my bed
Your eyes intense and everlasting
Leaving scars within my head

You crept towards me
Never swaying your sights
Inching nearer on the floor
The moonlight dancing on your skin
Until this little girl couldn't take your gaze
I clenched my own eyes for the first time then

I don't open them anymore
When I hear you shuffle through my room
At the foot of my bed you pace
At the foot of my bed
You pace

Sunday, August 16, 2009

The Bad Love Song

Doesn't she talk so sweet
With her lips of billowed satin
And doesn't she tickle your soul
In a way the world hasn't
When she opens her arms and holds you
You inhale her body heat
Doesn't her scent taste like the nectar
That feeds the August bees

Doesn't she tumble through your veins
Like cherries bathed in brandy
And don't you want to tempt her
Like a pedophile caressing candy
When you toast her with empty pleasure
She loiters through your mind
Doesn't her image take you to places
Jesus would prefer you leave behind

Pride

Are you proud of the pale you left in my eyes
Does your bosom expand with pride
Are you proud of the way my head swings low
Or my knuckles dragging on the floor
Do you bathe in my uneasiness
Do you laugh at the silence that stitches my lips
I look in the mirror and it's me I abhor
Whatever you saw that brought you here
No one can witness anymore

Dear Japan

Dear Japan
Take good care of my girl
Don't rain on her, don't make her blue
She deserves the sun
More than the flowers deserve the dew
Don't break her heart, don't trip her step
Her smile should be enough to grant your benevolence
Let her laugh, let her run
Let her drink her blessings by the cup
Wrap her in sweetness, wrap her in doves
That gather at her feet and help to lift her up
Send angels to keep vigil over her resting head
And clouds of white to make up her bed
Send her happiness, send her love
Deliver it with every color the autumn has ever brung

Go now my dear, it's time you must fly
Over sea and over snow, over mountain and the valley below
Far from my grasp but nearer to my heart
Remembering your eyes lighting up the dark
I hope you find your rhythm, I hope you find your beat
I hope you find smooth roads in Tokyo's streets
And if your eyes should catch a glimpse
Of glitter in the concrete
Dance
With cherry blossoms in your hair

Friday, August 14, 2009

Where The Air Is Thin

It's not the perfect place to be
The water tastes like gin
Jesus never came around
Up here
Where the air is thin

Here people leave their mark with death
And leave the world to wonder why
Here nobody sees you bleed
Cause you seethe from the inside

The flame doesn't always flicker
The night isn't always your friend
The days become too hard to trudge through
So you take pills to stay in bed

Everybody looks at you funny
They've never seen one quite like you
But isn't that the price you pay
For making bedfellows with the blues

You've dabbled with guns
You've dabbled with knives
You've stowed away on hearts
Then at sea you were denied

You've searched for shelter
Under dens of rock
Trying to keep warm
When barren bones is all you've got

Searching for someone to save you
Cause you can't save yourself
It's hard to grasp the hand
Of someone you could do without

But the stairs, they keep growing
And the mountain never stops
Until suddenly your in the atmosphere
And the first to taste the raindrops

God looks at you and makes amends
And you hold no ill will
Though you've suffered in silence
Though you've suffered in scream
Though you've suffered enough to fulfill a demon's dreams

It's cause you've made a home
Out of patch and stitch
Constructing a domicile with your broken feathers
Lying down where each left their switch

For now you're high above
The ones who yielded pain
Thanking them for their violence
Cause it yielded you great gain

And when they think their thoughts
That damn you straight to hell
All you can do is grin
Cause you could kiss the sun
Up here
Where the air is thin

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

The Meaning of Lonely

I have been searching for you...where have you been? I have opened my hand to their stakes and closed my eyes to the lesson. I have cried myself to sleep out of the hollowness of my gut and awoken with no hope, no god. I have slit my wrists during duty and tied my noose while on leave. I have swallowed the pills, felt the sting, the burn, the cold iron on my temple as the sweat protrudes through my spine. I have dreamt sweet dreams and awoken in a hellish panic. I have been pushed, I have been tripped, I have rested, I have stood. I have conjured my demons for company, I have cut myself in tribute, I have inhaled. All these things...all the while I was searching for you.

Ode To The Moon

The moon it hangs above me
By a thread of great design
Swaying through the emptiness
Before the dawn of time
It hangs above me in orange
It hangs above me in red
Stalking me through my day
Then laying me gently into bed

Somewhere on this earth tonight
The moon is not around
And millions of people forget it exists
Though the night pulses to it's sound
To a rhythm you can't follow
To a harmony you can't match
Causing all the beats known to man
To be humbly set to ash

The moon plays tag along
To a cousin filled with pride
After eons of practice
Still cannot break from her side
But she still glows bright
And she still loves deep
And every night the sun falls
To pay homage at her feet

Ain't That Night Beautiful

Ain't that night beautiful
Wrapped up tight in the arms of the sky
Rolling along the ripples
Of the fingertips of time

Infused by oracles of design
Grasping our hand and scraping our knees
Pulling us hard
By a thread of yearly decree

Through the frigid air or the desert's flare
Ain't that night beautiful

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

The Hangover

I am the epitome of misery right now. I cannot comprehend how I got to work. My liver is shriveled up in my abdominal cavity, my head feels like a thick, pulsing vein, my eyes are bloodshot and barely open. The only thing about my appearance that is somewhat acceptable is the fact that I managed to shower. I almost wish I would puke so I could have a valid reason to go home. I think the only thing that would make me feel better is if I had all the blood in my body drained into an oil pan. A nice, fresh start. I wonder if anyone will notice if I sit here all day and just stare at the computer screen. Somebody just walked by and said, "Good morning"...screw that. Is my brain outside of my skull? Cause it feels like it. I can't believe I lived like this all summer. How the hell did I do it? I should get an appearance on Oprah. And not condescending Oprah either. I want awe struck Oprah. Like I'm Maya Angelou. I'm too old for this shit. I'm done.

Backyard Brawls

He used to call me names
Cursing out knocks that didn't land in vain
And I used to wonder if I'd think of one
That would knock him back in his place

He used to hit me hard
Beating flesh like it didn't feel pain
And I'd run fast and cry to Mom
Big brother was at it again

We used to look the other way when we passed in the hall
And most words we exchanged were barely words at all

He used to ignore me
Keeping distance like he wasn't vaccined
And I'd tag along, a misplaced sidekick
Hoping one day, he'd adopt me

We used to look the other way when we passed in the hall
And most words we exchanged were barely words at all

But now he calls me sister
Like a brother whose found a friend
You can stand tall in a backyard brawl
But time will make you bend
And now he throws his arm around me
Breaking any blow he ever made
You can stand tall in a backyard brawl
But time will make you bend

I Have Been A Straggler

I have been a straggler
Through halls of doom
I have been a desperate fool
Who settles for a raindrop to get her through
There isn't too much in this world
That this lonely heart wouldn't do
And it left me in pieces
And it left me in dust
And I think I've had enough

I have been led on
By a mirage of trust
I have forced my way into
A heart that didn't want as much
Went down into that shallow corner
Made of a plastic kind of love
And it left me with stains
And it left me with hate
And on soils that perpetually quake

I have branded my body
With the pen of blood
Covered in tattoos and scars
That left the ignorant in the dust
Bearing my sleeve to the masses
To help weed out the weak
And it left me with strength
And it taught me to stand
Over blindness in any man

I have been a straggler
Through tunnels of white
Staring at the sun
And walking away with rays of light
Starshine in the daytime
A mistress in the night
And it got me in love
And it got me home
And I know now where I belong

A Cry From The Shallow

Dear Jesus, have you cast me aside, into this salty ocean in which I reside
Of us who whisper from the hollow and shout from the pain
Scar out our fleshy boxes with scalpels and intake the drugs the devil brang
Us of the lonely, us of the weak, us of the shattered who've lost the will to speak
For us who have no will, for us who feel no love, of us who pray through the night that the sun will not rise up
The son of God who was sent her to pay for all my sins
Have you led me into the shallow where only the forbidden is given to live
Left me here imprisoned for the gallows I call my own
Left me here to blister in this desert I call my home
For the emptiness that surrounds me, the only company I have known
Sweet Jesus, have you left me here to fight this war alone
I cry out in the dark but no one knows my name
The kings men have all gone to bed while the servants scratch out their calloused veins
Sweet Jesus lays his head next to Mother Mary's grave
And she whispers to him softly, "You're little girl is still in pain."

Sunday, August 9, 2009

Old Men Don't Know Shit

I was just standing here at work listening to my i-Pod when suddenly my boss, Bert, approached me. He asked me what song I was listening to, as he often does, and I told him at present time it was Nirvana's 'All Apologies' from the Unplugged album.

"You know that's why Kurt killed himself right?", he says to me.
"Because of Unplugged? I didn't know acoustic guitars could do that to a person", I replied.
"No, it was because he was playing all this hard, grunge music"....imagine a middle aged man playing air guitar while saying this..."and then he had to go soft so, BANG!", as he simulates a hand gun to the head.

I was pretty sure Kurt Cobain committed suicide because he was a bi-polar heroin addict who couldn't handle sudden super stardom while having his entire belief system ripped from him and sold to the masses. Marrying Courtney Love probably didn't help either. But apparently it was because he didn't have his Fender plugged in for one gig.

Lesson of the day according to Bert...never lose your edge or you'll lose your head.

Am I A Prophet?

Am I a prophet?
To my brother I saw that you would fall
And temptation would be the hands
That would push you down upon your knees
Into hypocrisy's quicksands
You spoke to me of Jesus
And told me I was damned
So easy to be righteous when the devil is not at hand
A dead and plastic love
At an urgent and racing speed
An insemination of innocence
And a fool's false belief
A coaxing of a disciple
And I ask...am I a prophet?

Am I a prophet?
To you my old and dearest friend
I saw you would not rise up
From these sexual soils
That cover you in sludge
You'd cry to me of tragedy
And I'd try to guide your way
Until I realized
This is the game you wanted to play
A sad and sorry girl
With sad and sorry boys
Whose only real concern
Is which one will make her make more noise
The prostitution of a school girl
And I ask...am I a prophet?

Am I a prophet?
To you my once godsend
I saw that you would leave
Before these emerald trees
Blew that frigid breeze
You told me you would never change
But both my feet did not fall in
Because if they had I would be lying
Six feet under, somewhere in Franklin
A confused once angel of God
Living a confused once angelic life of grace
Trying to prove to herself who she is
Trying to replace me with another's face
The constitution of an anarchist
And I ask...am I a prophet?

Friday, August 7, 2009

GALATIANS 6:7

Don't be so bold as to think I cry for you
Don't be so naive as to think our story is through
This isn't black or white
This isn't right or wrong
Because if life were so simple
My heart wouldn't be so raw

If I wake up in the night and cry out your name
Don't pat yourself on the back, to think you've won this game
I only scream for treason, I only scream distrust
I only scream at myself, that my eyes couldn't wake up

I don't care for the loss of you
Or whomever you've become
I wouldn't care for the death of you
If tomorrow your eyes never saw the sun
You can live life ignorantly
You can live life dumb
But better yet to brace yourself
For the ride that's yet to come

Driven me through hell for decades of my pain
Given me the stitches that bear your noxious name
Lucrative and full have all my debts been paid
But, you, my little friend, how you've yet to slave

I've walked this road before, see my footprints there
It is no stranger to me or the weight that I bear
I've climbed higher mountains, I've walked through thicker weeds
But when it comes to this circumstance, you've tread the ground clean

I watch you everyday with eyes clear as glass
I see your arrogant smile
I hear your pompous laugh
You believe your one of God's chosen set to walk the hallowed road
But the Lord is a greedy foreman and the devil collects his gold

So breathe it in and breathe it out
And let it all sink in
For Hell's chauffeur told me
He knows where you live

Thursday, August 6, 2009

One Day

One day you're going to know me
And you'll think to yourself
How you should have cracked a smile
And let a few words fall out
Then you'll try to recall
Why you didn't come to me
Cause it seems I'd understood you so clearly

One day you're going to see me
And you'll look in the mirror
To see the past reflecting back
On the glances you'd never steal
Then you'll stand and question
What it was that made me so hard to see
Cause now, all eyes are on me

One day you're going to love me
And you'll wish that I were around
To lie by you in the silence
And struggle with you through the sound
Then you'll sit and wonder
Why I never made your chest pound
Cause I sure am pulling on your heartstrings now

My Lady

Forgive me for the times
When you came to my door
And did not find a smile on my face
For I realize there will come a night
When I will sit alone in the dark
Listening for your footsteps
To tread upon my place

Or the times when you called
And an annoyed voice is all you found
Because this I know to be true
I will never find comfort in voice
Like that which I find in you

Butterflies aren't born as such
They grow within themselves
Weaving a wall from all that's light
Taking shelter in dark space
But fate, it always takes hold
And that day, it always comes
When colors pierce through the night
And wings expand towards the sun

So upon every flight
Over mountain or valley
Softly, I'll whisper your name
And in your heart you'll forever hear
"My lady"

PROLOGUE

These are the words of a failure
It's best to not read on
Nothing on these pages
Will leave your soul in awe

Every intention I have cashed
Has garnered only coal
Every move that I have made
Has only led me straight back home

I am the putrid existence
You curse beneath your breath
The loser that gives your conceit
A reason to raise it's head

If you were my kin, the blood within
Obligation would bind your love
But since you are a stranger
I'll refer you to the line above

These are the words of a failure
It's best to not read on